It’s cold and raining this morning, unfit for either man or beast to be outdoors. But the moisture is needed, so there will be no complaint from me about it. “April showers…” and all that.
Lately, I find myself in a rather gray and dreary state of mind. Perhaps I’m just tired, or maybe the transition from winter to spring is triggering my S.A.D. Whatever the cause, my thoughts have turned inward, of late, and I find I’ve been asking myself those deep, unanswerable questions about life, the universe, and everything attached to it. For every possible answer, there seems to be ten thousand questions more, but I know from a lifetime of experience that it’s really just a pointless cycle that won’t stop until its course is finished, so I just go with it and try to ride it out as best I can.
Yesterday, I went for a drive. As I glanced at the endless, empty fields on either side of the eerily empty highway, it dawned on me that the earth is in a state of transition, too. Stark, empty fields, waiting to be plowed; brown, sharp grasses waiting to soften and turn green; cold, stagnant pond water only recently freed from the winter ice… It all revealed – in poignant detail – the profundity of the circle of life. We are born, we live, we age, we die, and then we are returned to the earth in some form or fashion to participate again in the cycle of life. For some reason, I was amazed by that realization.
This morning, the wonder of it is gone but the realization remains. It makes me think about what actually matters and what doesn’t; what I can keep, and what I can let go of. What I’ve discovered is that almost everything is “small stuff” and therefore, it doesn’t need to be kept. I am free to clear it all out and make room for what does matter.