I should be sleeping. But, in a vain attempt to experience my youth, I stayed out late on Friday, didn’t get to bed until 4am yesterday, and then I was in bed by 9pm last night. Now I’m up with a migraine and a bad fibro flare. That’s what I get for trying to capture something that passed me by because of the choices I made. I’m not in my 20’s anymore; I don’t recover well from all-night partying and deafening music.
What is it that makes us do these things? Why is it that for some women, our mid-50’s triggers some weird kind of panic attack that drives us to try to live like we’re 20 again? Our bodies can’t handle all the physical demands that young age puts on us. We know this. So, why do we try to force it anyway? Do we think we’re “cool” for hanging out at the bars and lounges with our adult kids? Does it make us unique in some way? Is there something missing in our lives? Why do we work so hard to either capture, or recapture, a youth that’s long gone? Did we see ourselves in the mirror one morning and wonder who was the older person staring back at us? Why do we try to recapture who we were instead of being content with who we are now?
Maybe it’s because women have been held so long to the unrealistic standard that says only young, slim, gorgeous, big-breasted, and [gotta be honest here] intellectually-lacking women are worthy of affection. The fashion industry has perpetuated this for as long as it’s been around, and so has the movie industry. With so much pressure being put on women to be forever young and beautiful, it’s no wonder that some women panic when they hit their 40’s and 50’s and try to live like they’re 20 again. We are disposable; when we don’t fit the trophy image anymore, we’re replaced with one that does.
What does this say about us as a society? It doesn’t speak well of us, that’s for sure. But, for many women, this is the reality. We realize our youth is gone, we panic, and we try to recapture it in the hope of proving ourselves worthy of love and acceptance. Because, we don’t want to be replaced. We don’t want to wake up one morning and realize that all the years we’ve invested in our relationships just wasn’t enough to keep our partners interested in us.
Deep thoughts, indeed, from someone with a mind-numbing migraine…